Sarah’s phone buzzed—again. She told herself she wouldn’t check it, but the flood of notifications was too tempting. What started as a simple discussion in her friend group had exploded into a full-blown argument.
One passive-aggressive comment led to another, and now everyone was chiming in, taking sides. Sarah sighed. She hated drama, so why couldn’t she look away?
Most of us say we want peace, calm, and stability. But scroll through your social media, and what do you stop to watch? The fight, the clapback, the breakup, the messy drama. It could be a celebrity scandal, a heated argument in the group chat, or even gossip from your neighbour. Drama just pulls us in.
Meanwhile, the peaceful stuff? Meh. It rarely gets our attention. Why?
Take this for example: A friend of mine recently told me she was glued to her phone because two influencers she barely knew were beefing over who stole whose boyfriend. It had nothing to do with her, but she couldn’t stop refreshing the comments.
Sounds familiar?
The truth is, your brain isn’t wired to ignore drama. In fact, it feeds on it—sometimes a little too eagerly. It’s not that you’re a bad person or that you enjoy negativity. So why does drama pull you in so easily?
1. Your brain loves emotional highs
Drama often comes with big emotions—anger, shock, jealousy, excitement. These feelings trigger the release of powerful brain chemicals like dopamine and adrenaline, which make you feel alive and alert.
Peace, on the other hand, is calm and stable. It doesn’t spike your hormones the same way, so your brain may interpret it as “less interesting” or even dull. In short, drama gives your brain a rush, even if it’s toxic.
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2. We’re wired to spot danger
Your brain is still running on ancient survival software. Back in the day, spotting danger or tension in your surroundings could save your life. So, your brain evolved to notice threats more than peaceful scenes.
That’s why you might miss 10 beautiful moments but remember the one argument. Your brain thinks it’s doing you a favour by highlighting the “chaos,” just in case it’s a threat.
3. Social comparison makes drama juicier
When we see drama, especially involving other people, our brains love to judge and compare. “At least I’m not like that.” “Wow, they’re messy.” It feeds our ego and helps us feel better about our own lives.
I swore I was never the type to watch reality TV. “Not into all that drama,” I’d always say. But one lazy Sunday, I got sucked into an episode of Real Housewives of Lagos and I couldn’t stop watching! Before I knew it, I was 3 seasons deep, texting my friend, “How could Sophia lie about owning a boat? Na wa!”
Drama makes us feel like spectators in someone else’s circus. And let’s be honest, sometimes it’s entertaining.
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4. Peace requires presence; drama is passive
To enjoy peace, you have to be fully present, still, and connected to the moment. That takes effort. But drama? You just scroll, listen, and react. It’s passive entertainment. That’s why people will binge-watch toxic shows or stay stuck in gossip—it’s easier than meditating or reflecting. Peace requires awareness. Drama requires popcorn.
You might be addicted without knowing it
If you find yourself constantly chasing the next heated conversation, messy thread, or emotional chaos, your brain might be addicted to drama.
The constant emotional highs and lows act like a drug. You get a hit, feel alive, then crash—and start seeking the next dose. This can show up in friendships, relationships, or even how you consume celebrity news and gossip.
BUT!
You can retrain your brain. Start small—enjoy a walk without your phone, journal your thoughts, or practise deep breathing. Learn to find joy in quiet. Because while drama is loud and addictive, peace is powerful. And your brain can learn to love it, too.
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