I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for six years now. I’m 40, and she’s 35. Things are good between us, and I love her deeply. I can honestly say that I can see a future with her. But here I am, still not having proposed. And the truth is, I’m not entirely sure what’s holding me back.
It’s not that I don’t love her or think she’s “the one.” I’m scared—scared of making such a significant, lifelong commitment. Maybe I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to propose, but that perfect moment never seems to come. Honestly, I think I might have missed it—or worse, ruined it already.
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There were times in our relationship when the feeling was right. I could’ve taken that step, but I hesitated. Now, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made her feel like she’s just waiting around for something that may never come. At 35, she’s got every right to want clarity, commitment, and answers about where our relationship is headed. I don’t want to waste her time, and I don’t want to keep her from having the life she deserves, one that might not involve waiting on me to make a decision.
But then, there’s that nagging feeling. If I rush into marriage just to make up for lost time, will I be making the right choice? It feels like I’m stuck between fear and doubt, questioning whether I’m waiting for the right time or whether there’s something deeper that tells me it’s not the right time yet.
I’ve asked myself, how do you know if it’s just fear holding you back or if it’s a real sign that the timing is wrong? And if I have missed the perfect time, is there a way to make things right? I know some of you might have been in a similar situation.
I guess what I’m really wondering is whether love is enough, or if it’s time to face the fears I’ve been holding onto for too long. I don’t want to let my hesitation hurt her, but I also don’t want to rush into something I’m not fully ready for.
Adapted from a post originally shared on Reddit.
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