In Nigeria, there’s always that one neighbour. You know them – the self-appointed estate security, compound historian, and federal minister of personal affairs all rolled into one.
They’re so busy with knowing what goes on with other people and that’s why they’re always in your space asking you personal questions that don’t concern them.
While they may mean well (sometimes), the truth is that these neighbours can make you feel like your whole life is outside.
But here comes the important question: how do you handle these “curious” neighbours without coming off as offensive or locking yourself indoors where you’ll be far, far away from them?
Master the art of vague reply
Let’s start from your biggest tool in this battle – vagueness. You must learn to become the king or queen of vagueness because that’s one of the only ways to avoid answering their questions. Questions like “where did you go last night?” should attract answers like “ah, somewhere down the street.”
Excuse yourself after that answer so they don’t have the opportunity to ask you any further questions. The goal here is to give them something, without necessarily giving them anything. And that’s what excusing yourself does in this case.
Learn strategic smile and nod
You don’t always need to give your words, because sometimes you won’t even be able to find the right words. When they start digging, give a big smile and nod as if you’re deeply interested in their gist, then slowly start moving away. This way, you’ll catch them off guard because they’ll be too confused to chase you. That’s you evading another interview session.
Use humour to deflect
Humour is such an important weapon that many people fail to acknowledge, especially in situations like this where their guts piss you off. It doesn’t matter how introverted you are, you’ll need to develop this skill to handle nosy neighbours. If they ask, “When are we coming to eat wedding rice?” just laugh and say, “Hmm, maybe when Tinubu finally invites me to Aso Rock!” They’ll laugh too, and by the time they finish processing your reply, you’ve escaped.
Keep your social media on lockdown
If your neighbour is online (and most are these days), they’ll use your Instagram stories and Facebook posts to update your entire compound.
If you want peace, avoid oversharing your personal moves online. Post that travel photo after you’ve come back – not while you’re still at the airport departure lounge. This way, they’ll be blind to your moves, even when they’re always searching to know what’s happening.
Conclusion
Living in Nigeria means community – and sometimes that “community” feels more like your matter is in public eyes. But with tact, humor, and healthy boundaries, you can keep your life private without turning into an enemy of progress.
