Welcome to Lagos – the city that never sleeps, never slows down, and never apologises for either. Whether you came here for school, work, or just passed through and never managed to leave, at some point, Lagos sinks its chaotic, charming claws into you.
One minute you’re complaining about the traffic, the next you’re arguing over change with a danfo conductor like you were born on the mainland. Congratulations. You’re officially a Lagosian – whether you like it or not.
But if you’re still living in denial, let’s help you narrow it down. Here are clear signs that show you’re already a dull-blooded Lagosian, irrespective of how you feel about it.
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You measure distance in time
Well, we all know that distance is measured in kilometres. But there’s a different rule for Lagosians. Here in Lagos, most people measure distance by time. And that’s why a Lagosian will typically meet your question about how far Lekki is from Ikeja with an answer like this: “Without traffic? 30 minutes. With traffic? 3 hours.” Most people soon stopped caring about distance when they moved to Lagos. What matters is hold up, go slow, and whether it’ll rain.
You’re an expert in price negotiations
Lagosians are not only typically street smart, they’re also market smart. So, once you find yourself mastering the act of never paying the first quoted prices, you’re becoming a full-time Lagosian. From Balogun Market to a roadside fruit seller, your default response is “Ah ah, madam, how much last?” If you don’t argue over ₦200, are you really from here?
You’ve perfected the danfo/BRT survival struggle
Hopping in and out of a danfo in Lagos is an art of its own that only Lagosians master. If you’ve stayed long enough to know when to jump in and when not to, you’re one of us. Remember how you got used to the Lagos bus culture as razz? Now, you’re clutching the edge of a danfo in motion with the strength of a Marvel superhero – and you didn’t fall off. Well, welcome to the cult.
You don’t expect light, you hope for it
We know the struggle for constant electricity in Nigeria. But in Lagos, it becomes even worse. Many people living in parts of Lagos do not get guaranteed power, so they’ll treat it like gold when it comes. That’s why you’ll see them charge everything, iron all their clothes, and do enough blending to last the month, because they may never light until another week. What true Lagosian has not passed through this phase?
You Secretly Love the Madness
ALSO READ: Lagos Lifestyle: 8 ways to stay sane in a city that never sleeps
You complain daily. You tweet about relocating weekly. But deep down, you know you’d miss it if you ever decide to leave. The energy, the hustle, the endless stories, the wild unpredictability of it all – it has all become a part of you. So, who are you leaving it for? Stay back and enjoy your stay, because you’ve contributed in your little way to what it is.
