These are the stories of five young adults taking that leap into adulthood and creating their own paths.
As children, we impatiently craved adulthood, imagining a time when we could make our own choices and escape our parents’ watchful eyes.
We so badly wanted the freedom to access money, have fun, and embrace our individuality and adulthood seemed like a means to that end. We wanted a way out of our parents’ rules.
Finally, the long-awaited “freedom” arrived, and we left our parents’ sheltered abode. But the reality of life beyond their roof happened to be different from what we imagined.
The responsibilities we suddenly had to shoulder came as a shock to some of us. We faced real-life decisions and the complexities of relationships, including heartbreaks. While we loved the experience of independence, we grappled under the weight of responsibilities. It was a two-edged sword indeed.
I had the privilege of conversing with five young Nigerians who shared their personal stories of leaving their parental home for the first time. Here is what they had to say:
Denile
“I never had any plans to move out. It happened unexpectedly when I had an interstate meeting and simply never returned home. That’s how my life in Lagos began. Leaving home was far from easy; it was a bumpy ride that didn’t align with my expectations. But this newfound independence gave me the eye-opening experience I needed.
Having the freedom to do as I pleased and go wherever I desired was liberating, but it wasn’t without its challenges. Thinking back now, I believe leaving my hometown was a wise decision, one that even my parents would agree with. So, yes, I have grown to appreciate my current situation and will strive to make it even better.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t want to go back, but for now, the present holds more promise of an even better future.”
John
“For me, it was the cooking part [laughs]. I had never set foot in the kitchen during my time with my parents. So, when I transitioned to living on my own, I had to adjust to the cooking aspect since I couldn’t rely on eating out all the time.
I also had to take full responsibility for my life. With no one monitoring me anymore, I had to make wise decisions and behave responsibly.
While I was living with my parents, many things were decided for me, like the university I attended, the church I went to, and even the type of food I ate. After leaving home, I had to redefine my own values and beliefs.”
Chidum
“Moving out of my parents’ house felt like embarking on a journey into uncharted waters. I must admit, the idea of freedom was enticing in my mind, but in reality, it was difficult.
Questions like “What will I eat?” and “Who will do the cooking?” constantly occupied my mind. On top of that, there was the task of purchasing household items and foodstuffs. Sometimes, I felt lonely and I found myself questioning the decision to leave my parents’ house.
But I am here now, embracing and making the most of my bachelor life. I have the freedom to invite friends over and do things I couldn’t have done in my parents’ house.”
Tayo
“The transition from my parents’ home to the real world was challenging. I am now responsible for my own decisions, finances, and overall well-being. Navigating life independently, especially in a competitive city like Lagos, comes with its own set of challenges. There are financial and mental pressures to contend with, and I find myself constantly worrying about falling behind or experiencing failure.
Life after leaving my parents’ home is a journey filled with both triumphs and setbacks. I’ve learnt that it is important for me to celebrate even the smallest accomplishments and to learn from my failures without allowing them to define me.”
Lota
“Moving out of my parents’ house was a challenging experience for me. It wasn’t planned; circumstances influenced the move, leaving me with no choice. The reality of the outside world was nothing like I expected. Even though I had my newfound freedom, I was broke. For the first five months of living on my own, I drank garri at least once every day. I missed my mom and dad, but all I could do was call them. The days of free food, laughter, and the joy of home were gone. I didn’t miss my dad constantly monitoring me yet during that tough “sapa” period, I found myself wishing to go back in time.
After a year of living alone, I finally secured a better job and a better means of living. My life is not 100% great but it’s way better compared to the first few months after leaving home.”
